


Without You

by txmlinsonw



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Allucination, Death, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Love, Romantic Fluff, Sad, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-04 22:42:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12781176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/txmlinsonw/pseuds/txmlinsonw
Summary: Negan isn't the same after he lost her.





	Without You

Negan never thought this would happen to him... again.

He found a woman to love and give everything for. And just when he was ready to leave everything behind for her, she died. Rick killed her, bullet straight to her head. And Negan would never get over the fact he was the reason his loved one was killed.

It had been a few days but he still felt frozen in that moment. That moment when he saw her body fall to the ground, his grip in Lucille completely loosing up as he ran towards her and the bat fell to the ground. The sound of the bullets that were being shot towards Rick's group was blocked, everything he could focus on was the blood coming out of her body.

"No- N-no, please no" he begged as he held her in his arms. 

"You are the reason she is dead. See all that blood? You are the reason someone shot her. You could not protect Lucille, and you could not protect her."

He looked back, looking for the person who was telling those words to him. Then he realized that it was his own self hating on him.

He didn't know how much time went by. He stayed there, holding her close to his chest. He wasn't crying, he wasn't even moving. He was there, still, not wanting to let go.

He hadn't moved when the shooting stopped or when Simon tried to take him inside The Sanctuary. Hell, he stayed there for hours not allowing himself to feel anything but guilt. 

When he finally stood up, he carried his lover's cold body all through the compound to the nursery. Of course, there was nothing anyone could do.

He wanted revenge for his lost. He would never see her beautiful eyes wide open when he made a flirty comment or her hair all messy the morning after they had hot-kinky sex. She would never again call him out when he was being way too... Negan, or give him sarcastic answers to his questions. 

And the worst part... he never told her those three words he knew he should've said before. 

After her passing, he decided to take some days. He grabbed his important shit, gave Simon his place and drove away. He couldn't think about anything but her eyes, her perky lips, her hair, her voice. It was almost as if he had drowned himself in a bottle of her essence.

And he could never go back. 

Being away, into the woods with nothing but his memory of her, drove him a little bit crazy. Time went by too fast or too slowly, he didn't even know for how long he had been there. He was sitting on the couch reading a book he found under the bed. Then, someone knocked on the door.

He wasn't even concerned. He didn't even care if someone came to steal his whole existence. When he opened the door, he just stood there, blank.

 

"W-What?" He asked. 

"Hey" she smiled.

"Y-you are de-dead. You are not r-really here..." he murmured nervously. She was there. She was standing right there in front of him, no blood coming out of her head.

"I came back to help you. To help you move on, Negan." 

Negan didn't say anything.

"It's been a week now. You think Simon is running that place as you would? Keeping your people in line? You need to come back. Now."

He turned around, walked back inside the little house and looked down.

"Can't go back there. Too many memories of... of you. Or her. I don't even know if you are real. I am going insane."

"I know" she murmured as she put a hand on his back, giving him reassurance. "I am just a product of your imagination. Still, you need to come back. She wouldn't like to see you suffering like this."

"I have to kill Rick. And his people. Now." He groaned.

"No you don't. You didn't think like this before. For them, I was nothing but a poor girl who had fallen in love with someone she shouldn't have. Killing me was like having mercy on me." He turned around when she said those words. He was angry. "I am not justifying it, Negan. I am just saying... people are a resource. You can't kill them all just because they killed me."

 

Negan just looked at her, his fists clenching.

 

"Get out. Go away." He said.

"You need h-"

"GET OUT ALREADY! I can't have you in my mind anymore, you are fucking killing me" he yelled at her. "GO AWAY!"

And with that, she just vanished. He sat down on the floor, breathing really quickly. "FUCK!" He screamed as he punched the wall. 

That same day, Negan drove back to The Sanctuary. She was right, Simon was indeed having trouble with keeping people in line. But as soon as they saw the boss... they all kneeled. However, after a little speech about how he was back and how they would defeat Rick, he walked back inside to his room. 

He felt the same way he felt when Lucille died.

Empty.

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write something sad so... this came out. I really hope you like it.


End file.
